Tuesday, 27 December 2011

From The Travel Journal (14th Dec Entry & Brazilian Girls)

Travel Journal Entry 14th Dec 2011

I sat in an ice cream parlor on a high street in Cape Town watching an old couple (about seventy plus) order ice cream. It was a four pm heat outside, (a perfect orange heat maintained by a cool breeze). The old woman wore a yellow sunhat and a white summer dress; the old man wore a light blue nylon suit. They ordered one scoop of strawberry ice cream in a sugar cone. They stood by the counter pinching each other’s cheeks and smiling like they couldn’t believe they were alive at the same time. Its one of the most beautiful things I have ever seen and I wish you saw it; it would have burst your heart wide open.

The Garden Route & Brazilian Girls

On the 16th – 21st December I left Cape Town and took a tour bus along the Garden Route. The scenery was every bit as gorgeous as the name suggests; bridges over water, pebble paths through mountains, white houses on hill sides, S-Roads by forests, rivers, rock cliffs, white sand beaches all along side the warm Indian Ocean. 

It is perfect for the backpacker crews, lots of young European and North American twenty-something’s looking for a safe little African experience. 

It was a direct contrast to my time spent in Athlone Townships, Primary Schools and Nursing Homes (which, to be honest I needed time away from).  

On the bus I met five Brazilian girls (no, I didn’t sleep with them, I’m just not that smooth) I did however learn some things from being around them and had fun laughing at all the advances from European guys trying to get their fantasies played out. 

Here is a short guide to European men who want to handle themselves properly around Brazilian women.

1.                 Do not ask for sex.

The Brazilian term for douche bag is “mala sem alca” and to them you will be just another dick chasing pussy if you have conversations like this…

Hey where are you from?


Really!? Do you want to have sex with me and my friends?

That is an actual word for word quote. Come on buddy, what would your grandma say?

2.     Do not start a conversation by talking about how much Brazilian pornography you watch. Your taste in porn says more about you than it does about them.

3.     Brazil is a deeply superstitious country so you may meet people who do not believe in sex before marriage.

4.     They speak Portuguese not Spanish. Come correct.

5.     If you become a buddy you will be expected to greet like this (see below)

High Five/ Fist Bump

6. No one wants to be a novelty so only wanting to be with a Brazilian because they're Brazilian will earn you no Brazil Nuts.

7. apparently in Brazil it's not polite to walk around in your underwear when sharing a dorm with five girls. 

Interesting Facts

In Brazil, Sponge Bob is called Bob Sponge.

Brazil has become the sixth largest economy in the world over-taking the UK.

Lots of racism in Brazil ("you have black Brazilians then you have Brazilians")

A Brazilian poet & writer called Machado De Assis is apparently the shit.


  1. Hey guy! The European People much needed to learn about the Brazilian Culture!

    The Brazilian People more know about World People, principally the European People!

    Best Regards!

  2. I used the work of Machado de Assis when I was teaching in Rio. And yes, there's a crazy amount of racism in Brazil. As a person of colour, it's fascinating to keep your mouth shut and watch the way people treat you and then to bust out perfect English and see faces drop and attitudes change completely.

  3. I travel not to go anywhere, but to go. I travel for travel's sake. The great affair is to move.
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