Lots of things can get lost when hiking up a mountain.
As you probably know I wear hearing aids and when wind blows into them you can't hear anything but whooshing.
Here’s an extract from a conversation as I heard it while climbing South Africa's Table Top
Mountain with a friend called Irfaan.
Irfaan – Did I tell you about what happened?-------------------------------------------grabbed his
arm------------------------punched in the face---------------I said HEY! DON’T YOU DO THAT! --------------------------------- and then I said I’d put my fist
through his face and that was it-------------------------------amazing story eh? ----------------------------------- Christmas.
Me – Christmas?
Irfaan - Yeah. Well, what?
Me – What what?
Irfaan – Christmas.
Me – I’m guessing you are asking what I’m doing for
Christmas?
Irfaan – Erm, ok. What are you doing for Christmas?
Me –I don’t know.
Irfaan – Well, do you eat kittens?
Me – Kittens? ... Like cats?
Irfaan – What?
Ray – I don’t eat kittens’ man.
Irfaan – No Ray, CHICKEN!
Ray – Oh’. Haha, yeah
I do. I’m kind of hungry actually.
Irfaan – I got a sandwich you can have some if you want?
Ray – Sure what’s in it?
Irfaan – Feta cheese, honey and feet.
Ray – Erm... what?
Irfaan – You know what figs are? Those little...
Ray – OH’! FIGS! FIGS! Haha, yes... Not feet.
Irfaan – What the fuck is wrong with you man?
Ray – Yeah, a lot of wind is blowing in my ears.
Irfaan – OK.. So, you been into town yet?
Ray – Yeah.
Irfaan – Was it fertile?
Ray – I know you’re not asking me if the town was fertile.
Irfaan – WORTHWHILE RAY! WAS IT WORTHWHILE!?
We didn’t say anything to each other for a while after that.
Later I was at Irfaan’s house sitting at a table with his
little cousins when a man walks into the room wearing black overalls and a
Muslim prayer hat.
Irfaan – Ray meet fuck me.
Ray – What’s his name?
Irfaan – Fuck me.
Ray – Erm...
Fuck Me – Hi, I’m Fuck me.
Ray – Hello Fuck me.
Fuck me - ...
Irfaan – There are children here man!
Ray – erm... what’s his name again?
Irfaan – FUCK ME!
Ray – Oh'...OK.
I never did find out his name... probably Funky or Totsi or
Cutney or Chucky or something...
It takes a while to adjust to new accents when you travel aboard. I was asking South African people often to repeat themselves (more the first month than the second). I always considered myself as someone articulate in speech but I often had to repeat myself too. I was often thought to be a "coloured guy from Cape Town" until I opened my mouth. The look of confusion when a South African greeted me in Afrikaans or "howzit me'brew?" and I responded without flattening the vowels in my speech - "hey, I'm good thanks, how are you?".
